Contributors
Links
- Irish Aires Home Page
- Irish Aires Current Events
- Irish Aires Houston Links
- Irish Aires Links Page
- Irish Aires Archived
- Irish Aires Email Lists
- Irish Aires News Blog
Archives
This site includes the postings from the Irish Aires email list. This includes a listing of Irish/Celtic events in the Houston area and other information that the Irish Aires radio program posts.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Road Etiquette in Ireland
Road Etiquette in Ireland
The "Boreen"
(Pronounced: bore-een)
The boreen is a back-road one step up from a cowpath in engineering
terms. In fact many boreens were just cowpaths with some gravel or
tarmac thrown over it. For anyone unfamiliar with cows and their
travelling habits, their directional habits are somewhat erratic.
Much of the Irish road infrastructure is comprised of boreens, and
carries all types of traffic. Unfortunately for the unprepared, the
boreen is a very intimidating place. Many visitors have been known
to abandon their cars, running and screaming through the fields.
They have often have recurring nightmares for many years afterwards
and many need professional counselling.
Most cars and trucks can go down them.. In one direction only. Be
prepared to have much of your paintwork removed as you drive into
the hedge to allow another car to pass. Progress is often impeded
by larger trucks and tractors, where you must reverse until you
find a gate or other spot where the road widens. Note: the larger
vehicle always has the right of way! Two steps forward and one step
back is the motto here.
----
Dual Carriageways and Motorways
Motorways in Ireland are a rather new phenomenon, and many
motorists drive on them with some fear and bewilderment. Some are
unsure of how to behave on them, probably because until very
recently there was no mention of them in any rules of the road.
Most however just treat them the same as dual carriageways. In the
UK there are very clear rules about what you can and cannot do on a
motorway, but these rules do not apply here. Parking on the hard
shoulder is permitted. You may overtake in whichever lane has least
traffic. When approaching a roundabout you may make every possible
effort to get in front of the cars ahead before entering the
roundabout.
Dual carriageways on the other hand have been around for quite some
time, but many motorists haven't grasped how to drive on them
properly yet. Many do not realise that there is a differentiation
between lanes, namely the inside lane is for faster vehicles
overtaking. It is not uncommon to find yourself in the inside lane
following a foul-smelling rustbucket going at 30mph, while the rest
of the world is passing you on the outside at 70mph+.
Changing lanes is simpler on motorways/dual carriageways. Simply
look over your shoulder at the lane you wish to turn onto and if it
is not occupied then move into it quickly. Make sure not to use
your indicators, as explained below.
----
Overtaking
Overtaking is a complex process and involves much communication by
the passer and passee. Firstly the passer indicates their intention
to pass by driving as close to the person in front as possible. If
the passee does not respond by pulling into the hard shoulder, the
passer flashes their headlamps, further indicating his/her desire
to pass. Oncoming traffic, corners or solid white lines are of no
consequence - the only limiting factor is that the two cars can fit
side by side on the tarmac between the wall/ditch and the oncoming
traffic.
Once the passee has pulled over, the passer can pass. If the passee
has been courteous and pulled over in anticipation of being passed,
the passer then flashes his/her hazard lights as a gesture of
thanks. The passee can flash his/her headlamps in acknowledgement.
----
Parking
Hazard warning lights are used here too, to say that the owner is
only gone for a minute and will move the illegally parked car
shortly. Leaving the engine running indicates greater urgency and
it is not uncommon to also leave the car door open, especially when
the closing time for submitting Lotto (national lottery) payslips
is approaching. Note: this is usually only suitable for rural
towns, in Dublin, car thieves are very persistent and have even
been known to fix totally banjaxed cars in order to steal them.
In towns without traffic wardens it is customary to maximise the
parking spaces by parking three, sometimes more, cars deep. This is
known as double parking.
When looking for a parking space, the procedure is to drive slowly
(< 5mph) along the street you wish to park on. If no space is
currently available, decrease your speed until you spot someone
ahead leaving a parking space. Do not indicate when turning into a
parking space - it is better to keep the drivers behind on their
toes.
----
Indicators
Indicators are a special case in Ireland. They must not be used
even under pain of death. If one feels you absolutely must use
them, then it is appropriate to use them to signal past actions,
not intent as is the norm in other countries. The vast majority of
Irish motorists do not know how to indicate properly when going
through a roundabout so they adhere to the rule of not using them.
Please be courteous and do not confuse the drivers by indicating in
a roundabout.
Indicators should be preserved instead for the more important task
as the hazard warning lights. See overtaking and parking on the
correct usage of these.
----
"Yellow Boxes"
Yellow boxes are a series of criss-cross painted yellow lines on
the road, usually near traffic lights etc. These indicate the
correct place to stop while waiting at a red traffic light.
----
Traffic Lights
The sequence of lights is much the same as in other countries -
red, yellow and green. However, these lights have different
meanings here. Green is go as usual. Yellow means accelerate so you
can get through before, or shortly after it turns red. Red means
stop, unless you are a motorbike/bike courier turning left, in
which case it's ok to 'sneak' into the flow of traffic.
----
Speed Limits
The maximum speed limits in Ireland are officially 60mph on main
roads, 70mph on motorways and 30mph in towns. These limits are only
useful when you think you are approaching a speed trap. Actual
speed limits are determined by how fast you can go and keep the car
on the road at the same time.
Ireland has a community speed trap early warning system in
operation. When a driver spots a speed trap, he/she flashes
furiously at oncoming motorists for several miles past the speed
trap. If several oncoming cars flash at you, and it's not a
wedding, then there is probably a speed trap ahead so reduce your
speed until you are out of range again.
Recently, the Gardai have been issued with hand-held radar guns and
hide behind lampposts so their cover is not blown. In truth the
government issued several thousand empty cases that resemble a
radar gun which saved a lot of money. Real radar guns are not
needed since all cars drive in excess of the speed limit, so the
Gardai just take their pick.
A new scheme to increase the income of the low-paid Garda has been
introduced whereby the traditional rigmarole of serving summons on
those caught speeding are done away with. Instead there is now an
option of paying £50 on the spot to the Garda hardship fund. This
also serves as a commission system, whereby the more speeders
caught means more income for the plod on the street.
The news also covered stories that the Gardai have been ordered to
increase speeding convictions by 100% and have introduced such
nefarious tools as the GATSO (hidden camera van) and fixed camera
sites.
Note: this isn't an order to reduce road deaths, improve driving
standards or other such commendable effort, but to catch more
people out underhandedly and without consideration of the
circumstances.
An impartial observer might notice the transformation from the
traditional "it's fine unless you cause trouble" attitude which we
have enjoyed to a more sinister "step out of line, even a little
bit and we'll stamp you into the ground" attitude which is probably
more reminiscent of some less liberal societies. Can you say
"police state?"
The begrudging respect the Garda was extended by many motorists
previously is now disappearing rapidly, and is fast becoming an
object of derision.
----
Sidewalks
These are the paved bits at the side of the road. Mainly for use by
pedestrians, but also used for such things as:
Parking on.
Going the wrong way down a one way street, if on a motorbike. This
is especially true of motorcycle couriers who think it's somehow
more suitable to drive on the path in the wrong direction.
The dog equivalent of a litter tray.
----
Pedestrian Crossings
There are three types of pedestrian crossing in Ireland:
1.The Pelican Crossing: the bit in front of the traffic lights
which is also reserved for bikes and motorbikes waiting on a red
traffic light.
2.The Zebra Crossing: denoted by thick black and white stripes on
the road plus a pair of yellow flashing globe-type lights at either
side. More recently these lights have been augmented by high
intensity, flashing orange lights to blind drivers approaching the
crossing. Zebra crossings are generally used where the local
council were unable to afford traffic lights for a pelican
crossing.
3.Everywhere else: Cross wherever and whenever you like! The Irish
Jaywalking laws (yes they do exist, apparently) are never enforced.
How could you give a jaywalking ticket to a sheep anyway?
----
Livestock
Once you have managed to leave the snarled-up traffic jam that is
Dublin, major obstacles on the roads include animals of various
descriptions. Due to the recent hardship of the farming community
caused by reduced headage payments, more and more farmers are
forced to graze their animals on the roadside hedges (see
"Boreen").
Some parts of Ireland do not have ditches or fences to prevent
animals from wandering onto the roadway. A bit like Australia, only
a lot wetter and colder. Sheep have discovered that black objects
absorb solar radiation better than say, white or green things.
Hence you have these ribbons of warmth running through the bleak,
windswept countryside providing comfort to the animals living
there. Unfortunately to humans, these ribbons are known as
"national routes". If your vehicle is not equipped with bullbars,
expect extensive front bumper damage from sheep sleeping on
roadways.
Livestock on roadways are not only confined to the country,
however. Many areas of Dublin have residents who are quite
delusional, and believe it is possible to keep a fully grown horse
as a household pet. Of course it is necessary to put these animals
out to do their business occasionally, whereupon they head for the
nearest dual carriageway to exercise.
----
Road Signs
A few notes about direction signs: These come in all shapes, sizes
in colors. The original direction signs are black and white
'arrows' on striped poles. The unfortunate thing about these signs
is that they are clamped to a round pole so they also double as a
swing for drunken students returning home. Unfortunately for the
motorist, these rarely point in the right direction because of
this. The distance quoted on these are in miles.
More recently, there are bigger aluminium black and white signs
with two clamps, which make very bad swings, but better for
motorists. These too are in miles.
There are also white and green signs which come in several shapes
and many sizes, but unlike the previous two signs, the placenames
are sometimes in english only. Some patriotic vandals (yes, that is
indeed a contradiction in terms - these people probably have "tomo"
or "micko" tattooed to their forhead in case they forget their
name) decided to spray-paint out the english version of the name.
These signs are in kilometers, a well known Irish-developed system
of measurement, so the distance isn't spray-painted out.
On the new motorways, there are even newer blue signs, which
thankfully haven't been vandalised. Yet..
Touristy signs with touristy information are camouflage-brown so
that they blend in with the scenery in touristy spots.
Unfortunately this make them almost impossible to see when driving
along.
In the last year or two there have been small yellow signs with
cryptic codes placed at regular intervals on national routes. An
example is shown here. There has been much speculation as to the
purpose of these. They are of course waypoint markers for the alien
invasion due on the 23rd November 1998 at a secret site in Co.
Leitrim.
Conversion between kilometers per deci-hour (the metric standard 10
hours per day) to imperial mph (not US statute miles, these are
different again) is quite easy, simply multiply the value in Kmdh
by 0.15E013, divide by the gravitational constant plus the current
distance from earth to uranus's third moon in milipicojoulefarads
and you have your speed in mph. Your friendly petrol station
attendant will be glad to show you how to do this, it gives them a
chance to practice their junior cert remedial maths for which they
are studying. .
----
Road Construction Methods
Ireland's road construction methods have improved dramatically in
the last five to ten years, but occasionally the old tried-and-
trusted methods are used to either fix something in a hurry or
where money is tight. Like most non-national routes for example.
A favorite of the county councils (aka the tea-break gang) is the
"spray the road with tar and throw some chippings on it in the hope
some of them may stick" method. No doubt they use some hard-
engineering term to describe it, but the aforementioned description
sums it up quite well. The very handy thing about this method is
that there is very little specialized equipment needed as most of
the finishing is done by the drivers themselves. The result is
turning a worn-road road into a new gravel track for several months
as the cars driving over it clear off the excess chippings. Many of
these chippings end up in tyre treads, engines, radiator grills,
through windscreens and paintwork and sometimes embedded in the
faces of the drivers themselves. Warning signs indicate 20mph, but
in reality people only slow down if there is someone ahead of them,
for if you are overtaken on this surface, one can imagine what a
spray of jagged rocks projected at high speed from the overtakers
back tyres will do you your car...
So if you see a "loose chippings ahead" sign, kiss your windscreen
goodbye.
----
Road System Experiments
Ireland in recent years seems to have become a testing ground for
bizzare road experiments of various types. Invariably these
experiments are put into common use, being used for every
imaginable application, whether it suits or not. Sometimes the
roads authority have realized their mistakes, sometimes not.
The first major experiment to go badly wrong was the roundabout.
The roads authority discovered that roundabouts were dead handy
because they were cheaper than traffic lights or an overpass,
didn't use electricity and gave the illusion that you were getting
somewhere. The problem was that the road planners went berserk and
put roundabouts everywhere. Maintaining a decent speed on a dual
carriageway is hard when you have a roundabout every 100 meters.
Next there were the new sort of speed bumps - the kind you can
drive over at speed without the car chassis breaking in two. These
were fine, because it also had the added effect of waking up
sleeping drivers before entering a roundabout. The problem with
these is that the slower you go, the more noisy (and noticeable)
they are. In turn, drivers have learned to drive over them faster
to prevent damage to their suspension system.
More recently these have been replaced by the more passive wide
yellow stripes across the width of the roadway, now that the roads
authority have learned the error of their ways.
The latest experiment to be conducted on the Irish guinea pig
driver are a new sort of "speed control" when approaching a built
up area.
note: built up areas include villages with just two pubs and a
shop.
Newsflash!, the national roads authority have decided to name this
contraption "traffic calming" controls. Which isn't really a bad
name for them, since it has been proven that it stops traffic quite
effectively
Firstly, they build about a hundred meters of sidewalk with a
raised island between to squeeze the traffic into single file. At
the entrance they put up several poles and assorted leftover signs
which look like a bunch of spare signs dug out of the back of the
corporation shed. Several signs with the village/town name are
placed at the top projecting into the roadway, lest you forget the
name of the place you are now cursing through clenched teeth. They
also top the poles with zebra crossing style lights to trick the
motorist into thinking there may be pedestrians crossing ahead. The
centre island is fortified by a heavy-gauge steel pole to ensure
that any overtakers in it's path are stopped rather abruptly.
This particular menace is catching on quite well lately, especially
since it is a lot cheaper than the badly-needed bypass it
substitutes for, plus it satisfies the road authority's sadistic
tendencies. These could be mistaken for border crossing barriers,
the easy way to distinguish between them is that the speed controls
don't have concrete bunkers beside them with machine guns pointing
at you. ----
----
The Law and You
The general rule is: if you can do something without being seen by
a Garda or don't crash into something, it's ok.
Comments:
<< Home
There is a lot of reality to it. However, it is also fair to say that there is some exageration also.
But it is close enough to the truth to certainly bring a big smile to anyone who has driven there.
I have driven on everyone of our 19 visits to Ireland and I enjoy it a lot. However, it is a challenge!
Jay
Post a Comment
But it is close enough to the truth to certainly bring a big smile to anyone who has driven there.
I have driven on everyone of our 19 visits to Ireland and I enjoy it a lot. However, it is a challenge!
Jay
<< Home